Parenting Is Not For The Faint Hearted!

My number one goal when addressing issues is to look at the heart and the intentions. I can spank my children, put them in time outs, ground them, yell at them (I'm not promoting this, in fact I can't stand when I do this), or give them positive reinforcements and none of it will make a difference if I don't address the Heart and intentions. My kids are tough. I've seen them play harder than an effective spanking, out will my time outs and groundings, and enjoy positive rewards but still not be able to control them self. I've got to look at their hearts and intentions to crack their shells (or should I say shields).
My four year old acted ugly in children's church and my helper put her in the corner. After being released I asked my four year old if she understood that we must work together and we cannot whine. She (while looking down at the floor) mumbled "Yes, I just didn't want her scribbling on the paper". She was still teary eyed. She didn't want to share a paper with a child that was scribbling. I sent her back to the corner after talking to her firmly about having a bad attitude and needing to be more understanding as well as having a good attitude sometimes, even when we don't like something. She then showed her true colors by bursting out crying again and saying "I just don't want to share with her". I read past her fake apology and could tell by her countenance that she wasn't sorry. She still felt bad for herself and very cheated out of her little paper. The next opportunity she had to get out of the corner, she had a much better attitude and told me that she would be glad to share (with a genuine smile and pep in her step). She no longer pitied herself, but was ready to comply. Heart issues and intentions are the hardest to address but are they are the only ones really worth addressing. Discipline or training without that just stirs up frustration in you and the child. They may budge for now but what's really changed if their heart or intentions are the same as before?

I have three girls. They just turned 12, 9, and 4 years old. The are all very well behaved (most of the time). BUT (Big but and yes I know a sentence shouldn't start with but, but mine do), each one has their own issues, struggles, and moments of terror. We address them as each issue comes along the best I know how. If what I'm doing isn't working, I change what I'm doing with them. That's my job as a parent. To help them become and be great people in their current stage and future. I don't stop and say I've tried everything. I keep going until I've found what works. Parenting is not for the faint of heart.
faint-heart·ed (fnthärtd)

adj.

Deficient in conviction or courage; timid.

---

faint-hearted·ly adv.

faint-hearted·ness n.

Just a little update!

Life happens is an understatement in 2012!  My mom has been in and out of the hospital this year.  I've really failed at a lot of things!!!  In fact, I was just looking over my resolutions and I had forgot a lot of them!  I can't believe it!  I was so pumped and determined.  How did I get so far away from "home"????  Oh well, I'm going to get back on track.  I'm repumped (now that I remember it).  Today's blog is just an update on my life since that was a major reason for this blog. 

Since my mom has been battling her A-Fibs and other health problems due to her A-Fibs things have been very hard.  I think I came close to a nervous breakdown.  This has been one of the most stressful health problems we've dealt with (for me anyways).  Why?  Because a lot of this could of been prevented or stopped by my mom or her cardiologist is it were handled.  Both have made poor choices.  Watching a loved one suffer with an uncontrollable illness is one thing.  Watching a loved one slowly die by choice, is another.  I do believe somethings are going to get better now.  She has a new doctor and I'm confident the new doctor will do what's necessary and cater to their own pride and feelings. 

This school year has been one of the best one's yet.  Also, one of the most unorganized! I'm always a day late and a dollar short but we keep on trucking along.  I'm very proud of my girls! 

I see the two older one's turning into beautiful young ladies and I'm talking about on the inside! 

We bought a new house!  We now live in a better city in general.  It's right by the old city but still, a better group of people for our girls to be brought up around. 

I've definitely taken a step back when it comes to my progress!  I'm ready for my 2 steps forward. 

We've grown a lovely little garden and I'm super proud of the squash and zucchini we've been enjoying from it! 

I've cut out all of my snacking.  I only eat 3 meals a day.  I'm on a mission to make life changes and not just do another diet.  I was inspired by this when a friend of mine's husband passed away from a heart attack unexpectedly as well as from watching my mom suffer with her health.  I'm trying to make better choices during those 3 meals but I don't ever go back to the kitchen between meals.  It's helping me in some way because I've lot 15lbs and haven't counted the first calorie!  :)  I've been doing this for maybe....almost 2 months.  It's progress!

My step son doesn't come around very often.  It's been a nice break from some of his drama but I've been missing him.  Still no word from the other one although we heard through his mother that he will be going on a mission trip to Turkey.  I'm so proud of him!

I definitely didn't name everything we've been doing but there is a little update that one day I'll look back and appreciate right?  I'll blog again very soon.